I was cleaning off my desk today and discovered a piece of computer paper with the following list scratched haphazardly in pencil and ink:

2 brothers gored in ass–bulls
Blogger: real name?
tic-tac commercials
baby arms & legs –> crib
book 7, movie 5

I had to read over it a few times to realize that it was a list of things I wanted to blog about. It is a testament to their significance, or lack thereof, that I don’t even remember a few of them. The ass-goring, for example. I think that was a news headline that greeted me one morning; I was amused and thought it deserved some attention. Or not. I think, however, that the remainder of the list is intact somewhere in my brain, particularly the last item, as I am placing full responsibility for my weeks and weeks of silence on the head of Harry Potter. Perhaps I’ll start there.

book 7/movie 5: I started reading HP and the Sorcerer’s Stone in December, a few days after I had Mia. Let me clarify: I started RE-reading it. I believe this was read #5. I finished it sometime in early July. Don’t be alarmed, I am not a slow reader; there was a period of several months when no reading of any kind occurred in my house. I had stopped somewhere around the initial arrival at Hogwarts, and that’s where I started a few weeks ago. I sped through the remaining chapters. I moved on to The Chamber of Secrets. And then to Prisoner of Azkaban (my all-time favorite). And so on. You get the picture. My sleep suffered, as did my eating habits, fashion sense, and, on some days once I hit Order of the Phoenix, my hygiene*. Rest assured, my child did not suffer, unless you count that one day I was reading and forgot to give her the afternoon bottle. In my defense, she didn’t protest–she was in the process of self-adjusting some of her eating habits and had been showing little interest in that particular bottle, but I continued to offer it anyway. But on that day, when I realized that I’d read and she’d played right through a feeding, I freaked out a little. It was the same week of the news story about the couple who allowed their children to starve and be picked up by child services because they were too busy playing online video games. I could just see my own headline plastered on the internet: Mom Forgets to Feed Infant–Too Busy Reading Harry Potter.

Anyway. I mostly read during naps and into the night, and in spite of the 6 months it took me to re-read the first book, I sped through the others. I was preparing myself for the two big premieres. I knew once The Deathly Hallows hit the shelves I would have to read it as soon as possible, but I had read The Half-Blood Prince so fast that I had forgotten a great deal of it–hence my re-read campaign. And like many other Harry geeks, I wanted to re-read OOTP before I saw the movie, something I still have yet to do. When I finished The Deathly Hallows on Sunday it was like coming out of a dream–and in a way, that’s exactly what happened. When I read the Harry Potter books I am truly immersed in the fantasy. I want to have magical abilities, and I want to visit Hogsmeade, and I want (quite desperately, actually) to be able to Apparate and Disapparate. But when I read that final page, the regret I was expecting with the ending of the series didn’t come. I was almost relieved. Don’t get me wrong–nothing has changed, I still love the stories and will most likely read them all again, and probably again. But it was high time I started spending time with the three-dimensional people.

I will reserve my opinions about Book 7 for a later time, because, as I understand it, there are still a few people who haven’t read it yet.

On with my list.

cookies/bakies: Have you seen that commercial? The one where the guy doesn’t understand why cookies are called cookies, because cooking’s really got nothing to do with it? How true. Why ARE they called cookies?

HP: I believe this refers to my above epistle about the Boy Who Lived. I am sure I was going to use it as an excuse for not blogging. Which I have done. Did you notice the title? I feel certain it was not lost on my fellow Harryphiles.

Blogger–real name?: I had to think about this for a while, but then it hit me. Once upon a time, when most of us blogged at Blogger, my posts and comments were always signed hd. Now, suddenly and without any action on my part, my comments on Blogger blogs are signed with my real name. Why is this? Not that it matters, most of you know my real name anyway. It’s just a curious mystery.

tic-tac commercials: Clearly I pay too much attention to television commericals, but is anyone else as irritated as I am by those ads in which the people’s mouths appear to be possessed by something that’s trying very hard to escape? Or that girl juggles tic-tacs with her tongue? I want to throw things at my TV when I see those commericals.

Baby arms & legs –> crib: I have been meaning to seek adivce about this for some time, but since I scribbled that hasty little note I have had to solve this problem on my own. Thanks to mesh and velcro, I am happy to say I have not had to pry my kid’s arms and thighs out of the crib slats for some time. Has that happened to any of you? It’s damn scary. Of course, I always imagine the worst: tiny femurs snapping, limbs being torn from their sockets. See, I had to do something. For crap’s sake, it’s a crib, not a Rottweiler. So thanks to the taut mesh panels that now surround the crib, I haven’t been greeted by this in over a week:


sickness: I was sick. Now I’m not. It sucked, but it hardly seems important to mention now. I’m sure I was going to use it as an excuse for not blogging, but I believe a certain fictional character is shouldering all of that blame just fine, thank you.

Astelin–taste: However, thanks to the aforementioned sickness, which was either a cold or an allergy-induced sinus infection, I convinced my doctor to give me a prescription for Astelin. I was sneezing constantly and uncontrollably, and it was positively miserable, and I was convinced Astelin would solve all my problems. Admittedly, I saw an immediate change in my allergies, and I hardly sneeze at all anymore. But let me just tell you, there is no bold print large enough, no warning dire enough, to prepare you for the taste that is Astelin. Who knew a nose spray could taste so horrible? There are suggestions in the instructions for avoiding swallowing the spray and coming into contact with the taste, but if you manage, as I so often do, to get the stuff anywhere near a tastebud, you will taste nothing else for hours, and everything you eat or drink will be tainted. People, I’m telling you right now, Astelin is what evil tastes like.

And finally, off the list but significant nonetheless, my daughter turned 7 months old last week. Now I am not one but two months behind on my monthly updates. At least she doesn’t suffer the same neglect this blog has been suffering.

*I forgot to add this footnote. Lo reminded me. Now I don’t remember what clever thing I was going to say about my neglected hygiene. Is neglected hygiene ever clever? I didn’t think so. I’ll leave it at that.

11 thoughts on “STUPEFY!

  1. See your email on the Harry Potter issue. BTW, I love the look of neglect. Cutest little neglected baby I ever saw.


  2. hurrah for an update!
    I make lists like that all of the time and then I end up forgetting what the heck I was thinking…
    As for commercials- I get bugged out so easily. I can’t stand to see things that shouldn’t talk- talk. Like babies or dogs…shiver.


  3. As for your real name? I think that when blogger and google forged a relationship, it probably stole information from your google account, or the account set up of some other mail server you use (it’s tricky like that)

  4. I loved Deathly Hallows! I assure you my two little ones were relieved when I finished it. During my marathon reading sessions, I did manage to keep them clean and fed, but I also must admit that they spent a lot more time playing alone and watching tv. 😉

  5. Mia is so cuteeeeeee I can’t believe that much cuteness can be store in one little person!!!

    I haven’t read HP7 yet, is “on the mail” but I can’t wait, as for movie 5, oh my God, did I cried!! hahaha, like you Prisioner of Azcaban is my fave and I just love Sirius and the relationship he and Harry have, I mean he’s the closest thing he has like a father!!!

    Oh boy, I need to get a boyfriend and a life hahahaha I keep thinking that I’m a muggle borned…..


  6. I think J. is right about blogger, when I was forced over to the “new blogger” my comments suddenly appeared with my real name and I had to go in and fix something (I forget what now) to change it back.

    Why is there a star by hygiene? I can’t find a footnote.

    I am stubbornly savoring my last 20 pages of HP. And have been driving Co crazy with my fear of dementors and You-Know-Who and waiting, even though I’m 32, for my Hogwarts letter to arrive….

  7. Hey I want to know why they are called cookies too!!!!! Really, why?!?!

    I made myself re-read every chapter of the last HP before moving on to the next chapter. I still read it too fast, you know me, i read really fast. How did you feel about the end? Without putting in a spoiler, I liked the ending, but felt maybe it wasn’t the right ending.

    Azkaban is your fav? No way! It’s my least favorite, its the only one I’ve read less than 5 times.

    This is my prayer before going to sleep every night: Dear higherbeing, I realize you skipped over me when assigning muggles magic powers, but PLEASE let my child be a wizard, or a witch. I think Hogwarts would love my blood line! Thank you for considering my request.

  8. Most DEFINITELY not a face of neglect. Her pictures always bring the biggest smile to my face. 🙂
    Glad to know what you’ve been up to–it’s entirely understandable that your blog wouldn’t be priority #1 at this point in your life.
    ps–how do you get her to leave all those cute things on her head? Did you just “train” her from an early age? They are adorable!

  9. First, I love your list.
    Second, I also totally forgot everything about Book 6 and GMB and I had to try to scan as much as we could while waiting in line at midnight that night because our copy is in a box somewhere. We read different parts and told each other about them and were appalled by the blank stares we got back every time. Was there something just unmemorable about that book? Hunh.

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