#awkward

We need to talk. Actually, scratch that. I don’t mean it. It’s a euphemism, and for me, in this moment, it means I am going to say some stuff. In print. Not out loud. Because I am…not good at that, per se. Let me explain. For as long as I can remember I have been … More #awkward

Sometimes being a girl is an adventure, and I’m just not the adventurous type

A little over a month ago I purchased a bathing suit for the first time in years–a real, whole bathing suit, not just a tankini top here and a tankini top there from random department store sales that I would wear with shorts because I refused to let anyone see my ass. This was an actual suit, … More Sometimes being a girl is an adventure, and I’m just not the adventurous type

Truth, self-evident

If you order soup to-go, it is safe to assume there is a nifty plastic spoon inside the neatly folded bag. Right? Apparently not. Which is why, a few minutes ago, I left my class in the middle of a lecture and sprinted through the rain to dig a plastic spoon out of the TRASH … More Truth, self-evident

This post brought to you by the good people at Kleenex

True confession: I am obsessed with Kleenex. Specifically, having them in every room of my house, and having their boxes match said rooms. You might say I’m a tissue snob. It’s not a brand thing–I can buy Puffs, or even a store brand if necessary. It’s all about the matching. Kleenex boxes are admittedly the most stylish, followed … More This post brought to you by the good people at Kleenex

It will take you until next year to read about my Christmas vacation

Now with pictures! It’s New Year’s Eve, and I am finding it hard to type, what with being jacked up on Albuterol and all. I had heard that phrase before–“jacked up on Albuterol“–and I assumed it was some sort of anti-depressant. Turns out it’s an asthma treatment. Huh. And that’s the end of the story of … More It will take you until next year to read about my Christmas vacation

STUPEFY!

I was cleaning off my desk today and discovered a piece of computer paper with the following list scratched haphazardly in pencil and ink: cookies/bakies HP 2 brothers gored in ass–bulls Blogger: real name? tic-tac commercials baby arms & legs –> crib sickness Astelin–taste book 7, movie 5 I had to read over it a … More STUPEFY!