Baker’s dozen

Just put yourself ahead in time, HD, pretend that it’s next month already, and imagine that the past 4 or so weeks just totally rocked. Every hope you now possess for the coming weeks has manifested. Every challenge was breezed through. Every cool person stayed cool, every trickster became an ally, there were happy surprises along the way, and, you got plenty of sleep.This is how we do it.

Kung Fu –
The Universe

I’ve always been a lover of irony. Today is just full of it, though, and I’m starting to rethink my love. For one thing, today’s message from the Universe–on spot, no? Especially that part about the challenges. Yeah. I assumed The Almighty was talking about the challenges I already knew about–the 14-year-old ones who occupy my days and suck out my patience like so many multi-colored Pixie Sticks. Remember those? You think you have so much, and yet, when you turn up the paper tube there’s hardly anything in there at all. Much like my patience level these days. But I digress. I spent the morning scoffing at my lack of patience, ignoring my students’ antics, smiling serenely, knowing that in a few short hours I’d get to go home and spend the afternoon with my daughter. Home. Yes. Home, where, within 30 minutes of my arrival, water started pouring from an as yet undetermined source in the vicinity of my hot water heater. I am waiting for the plumber, and I have turned off my water at its main source, and I am all the hell out of Pixie Sticks. I mean patience. I took the Universe’s reference to challenges to mean the ordinary ones. The Universe said nothing about plumbing. And all that talk about spending the afternoon at the park? Yeah. Ironic, isn’t it? No more half days for me.

Also ironic about the Universe’s message: that part about getting plenty of sleep. My child, my sleeps-all-night-and-has-since-9-weeks child, has taken to waking up anywhere between 3 and 5 a.m. She doesn’t cry, she just makes noise. Loud noise. Sometimes she fusses, sometimes she just talks to herself. It lasts around 30 minutes and then she goes back to sleep. But. I. Don’t.

There is good news, however. Last night I created bagels.

They sort of look like giant coconut macaroons, but they are, indeed, bagels. I almost didn’t make them because of the whole boiling thing, which sort of freaked me out, but it was SO easy and now I am fascinated by the whole process. The best part of all–and if you are stressed out, take note–was the kneading of the dough. I kicked that dough’s ASS. I am talking slamming, punching, squeezing–it was so satisfying. I could have just thrown the whole thing away and had a beer at that point, but I like to see things through. I made 8 bagels–2 plain and 6 garlic and onion. I even mixed some chopped green olives into my cream cheese. I had one for dinner and it was okay, but this morning they tasted even better, more bagel-like. Hot out of the oven they had a strange taste. I’ll remember that next time. I also won’t make them on a “school night” again, because there at the end I was running from the kitchen to wherever Mia happened to be at the moment (swing, bouncer, floor, high chair) and when it was all over she was hungry, and by the time I finally sat down to eat a bagel I was exhausted.

So thanks, Cali, for the excellent suggestion–I highly recommend it!

Tomorrow I’m making pineapple salsa. I can’t wait!


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