My hot water heater has moved on. You might say it has shrugged off its mortal heating coil. Its replacement is going to cost me three bucks shy of a thousand dollars. I am not happy. I will be even less happy in the morning when I am taking a cold shower because of course they couldn’t replace it today, and then, maybe then, I will convince myself that I’m okay with handing over $997.02 to that Plumber Man who reeks of Skoal and sports a scar that looks like a zipper across the side of his face.