The one where I grovel and assure you all I’m still alive

Imagine a sheepish look on my face. Imagine, even, that I’m on my knees, humbly bowed in an act of contrition. Even better, imagine this:

There’s a scene in the movie “Forget Paris” where Debra Winger is trying to free a pigeon that has somehow managed to get itself stuck on one of those adhesive rodent traps. Have you seen it? The movie as a whole is not that great, but it’s worth watching just for this scene. She approaches slowly and tries to pull one of its little pigeon feet out of the glue, but if you’ve ever gotten your fingers stuck in a fly tape you know it’s impossible to get near one of those things without getting stuck in it yourself. Anyway, to make a long story short, the pigeon starts freaking out and flapping its wings, which are still quite free; the trap, now hanging in midair below the pigeon, gets stuck in Debra Winger’s hair. The sequence of scenes that follows is made up of her trying to get out of her apartment and drive to the veterinarian’s office with a mad pigeon stuck to the side of her head.

That’s been me for the past three weeks. More or less.

I hate to use this tired excuse again, but it really is this time of year. Last year I went from April 14 until May 25 without blogging. Of course, there were two people reading my blog then. There are more of you now. You noticed, and I appreciate it. You should know that I’ve actually opened the “new post” page in Blogger about 6 times in the past two weeks; once I even typed a title. But at the end of the day other things took all of my time and energy, and I ended up closing the page and hoping there would be time for blogging another day.

Don’t think I haven’t blogged because I’ve had nothing to talk about. Au contraire. Sadly, I’ve forgotten most of it. Here are a few things that remain in the miasma that is my brain at the end of the school year:

1. I feel pretty guilty about missing the last, what, 4 Photo Fridays, but when I get home I am pretty much a zombie (with a pigeon stuck to my head), and by the time I start feeling like a human again it’s Sunday night.

2. I also feel horribly guilty for not yet sending out my Crazy Mixed Up mix CD. I have a tentative song list, the blank CDs, the mailers, the computer with which to burn the CDs. It’s like a box cake that hasn’t been mixed and baked yet.

3. I have been offered a new job. (I’m whispering because I don’t want to jinx it.) The principal–we’ll call her Principal Divine–wants to hire me. I very much want to work for her. Right now it’s in the hands of central office personnel, who could drop a big fat NO in my lap at any moment. Or they could hit me with a YES. Please, pray or chant or sacrifice or burn something or meditate–whatever it is you do. I really want this position; mostly I really want NOT to be in my CURRENT position. I’m counting on your good vibes.

The good news is, today is the last student day. It’s not even a “real” school day, just a catch up day for anyone who missed an exam or needs to make up unexcused absences. I had four students 1st period; there’s one kid in the room with me now. The halls, of course, are full of gypsies and wanderers looking to make trouble, but there are probably only about 100 kids in the building, so I’m calling it a day. I don’t think I could have made it another moment. The next three days are workdays, but I can handle those. By next Wednesday I’ll be free to cut the pigeon out of my hair, allow my brain to recover, and do fun things like blog and take pictures. Until then, don’t give up on me.


7 thoughts on “The one where I grovel and assure you all I’m still alive

  1. Hooray for your re-emergence! Sorry to hear that things have been crazy & that you’re exhausted at the end of a very long day. But thank you for poking your head back into this here blog & letting us know that no, you have not disappeared into the the ether.

    *oh, and i’m send some very quiet, positive vibes your way – hopefully quiet enough not to attract the attention of Those Who Like To Smash Dreams.

  2. phew!! Missed you!
    you know, at first I couldn’t tell if you were the pigeon or if you were Ms. Winger…either way it sounds like you have had a crazy couple of weeks!
    & just so you know- “photo friday” is really “photo friday-tuesday”. So there is time if you get to feeling creative.

    SO excited about #3 on the list!!!! I’ll be low key, but inside I am doing the “new job” dance.

  3. YAY! I am so glad you are back! I figured it was the time of year, since I am just clearing pigeon-caught-in-hair time myself (though not nearly as madly as classroom teachers, I think – my madness takes place in more quiet with nothing but the incessant beeping of the scanner to keep me company – I begin inventory next week).
    Anyway, welcome back and please do stay with us for the summer.

  4. One of my favorite scenes in moviedom: that pigeon in the hair sequence.

    I make Dyke Two watch the movie up until that scene is over everytime we stumble across it on cable.

    the rest of the movie is in fact mediocre.

    and, oh, how I remember those pigeon-wings attacking me. by pigeon wings, i mean, of course, IEPs.

  5. We missed you!! I’m glad you are back and with good shhhh news….
    Don’t feel too bad because I’m on my way to send out my Cd’s it’s been hectic around here too.

    Good to have you back HD 🙂

    PS: i will send out my cd’s next week

  6. Well I hope you are now enjoying your vacation. I’ve been enjoying mine and I wanted to thank you for that. I took note of the books you’re reading/suggested and I just finished The Bean Trees. Wow! Of course, I had to go back and check out what else you had listed and wound up making my first Amazon purchase. Thanks again,
    Sara

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