Poop. And also, BS.

If you braved the poop segment of yesterday’s post, you’ll be thrilled to know today’s batch was a-okay. I’m citing the blueberry applesauce as the culprit, and to further my research I served said blueberry applesauce for lunch today. Tomorrow’s results will be the deciding factor in whether or not I continue to worry. About this. There will always be something else.

 ~

We ventured out to Target this evening, even though at 5:30 it felt like 9. Seriously, this time of year is hard on my psyche. Anyway, on the way I encountered stupidity at its scariest–people doing stupid crap behind the wheel of a vehicle. The following is my Dumbass Awards Presentation for the evening:

In third place is one of my biggest pet peeves: that person who clearly saw me waiting to make a left turn at an intersection and fully intended to turn right into the same intersection but DID NOT INDICATE AS MUCH WITH HIS BLINKER. This is mere common courtesy, like not letting the door slam in the face of the person five steps behind you. Thanks for making me wait, Dude.

Coming in second was the woman who, presumably for safety’s sake, had pulled over on the side of the road to have a cell phone conversation. Now before you’re all like, “Hey, now, maybe she was having car trouble,” let me assure you that I’m fairly certain that was not the case. Her interior lights were on but not her hazard lights. Thanks to said interior lights I could see her flipping through what appeared to be a calendar or notebook. She was laughing. How could I see all of this in the dark while I myself was driving? Because she was blocking traffic on a side street, and what else could I do but STARE INCREDULOUSLY INTO HER CAR as I drove slowly around her?

And in first place tonight is the guy driving that enormous truck pulling the trailer full of lawn equipment who cruised down the middle of a street of normal width even as oncoming traffic practically pulled onto the sidewalk to avoid a collision. I could have parked a motor home in the space to this guy’s right; unfortunately, I can’t say the same about the space to his left, which is, of course, where I was attempting to drive. This one doesn’t even need further discussion–he is by far the clear winner. Congratulations, Idiot.

~

I’m not sure, but I think I’m a little crabby. I think I need to go have dinner. Or a half gallon of peppermint ice cream. Thanks, Cali. (No, really, that I mean. That wasn’t sarcasm at all. It’s the best ice cream EVAH. It’s like eating winter. I am SO having peppermint ice cream for dinner.)


4 thoughts on “Poop. And also, BS.

  1. starhill- it is just Eddy’s brand. They so should have it out by now. I get it at Publix. Publix also has a brand- but it isn’t 1/2 fat and it has the green peppermint and I am not such a fan. It makes do in a pinch…but Eddy’s is da bomb.

    I had some for dinner last night myself 🙂

  2. Just to play devil’s advocate—-perhaps that woman pulled over to the side of the road was a CPS investigator? Okay, I’m straying here, but stay with me a sec. When I was doing that thankless job, I would get a priority one case assigned to me, and I’d have to pull over to the side of the road and take the info from my supervisor so I could rush over to the hospital or wherever.

    Even if she’s not, telling yourself that might help with the frustration.

    And you keep talking about peppermint ice cream. I’m going to have to go get some now, seeing as how it’s my favourite flavour and every time I read your blog this week you’re talking about it. Mmmmm.

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