WANTED: This Stuffed Animal
Off white fur, black and white oval eyes, short arms and legs, long tail, 10.5 inches tall.
Often mistaken for misshapen dachshund, elephant, prairie dog.
Goes by the name “Wee Hairy Beastie”; also answers to “WHB” and “Beastie.”
Resides in suburban neighborhood with almost-6-month-old who cannot sleep without clutching its stubby arms, legs, or ears.
Seriously. I need help. My daughter is attached to this…creature. I got it at Ikea the summer before she was born. Last summer. Just a mere 12 months ago. And today when I went to the Ikea website to purchase a backup or two THEY WEREN’T THERE. Now, I don’t know if they no longer exist, or if they just aren’t marketing them any longer. Now they have all these NEW toys that actually LOOK LIKE REAL ANIMALS. But my kid, she likes this animal. This animal that’s already starting to look like it lives under a car tire. This animal that smells like baby saliva and Johnson’s nighttime lotion. This animal with the perpetual wet ears.
Please. Someone. Someone who is fortunate enough to live near an Ikea. If you happen by the place any time soon, would you mind checking out the kids department for me, and if they have these animals, would you purchase a back-up or two for us. I will send you money, and I will make it up to you, I swear.