It’s over. It hurt like hell. My doctor kept asking if I was okay, even as he continued inserting things that were larger than the space into which they were being inserted. It lasted about 10 minutes and resulted in three pictures of my CLEAR TUBES and SLIGHTLY TILTED UTERUS*.
Now that I’m no longer obsessing about the HSG, I’ve moved on to other things. Like my upcoming ovulation, which is–there’s no other way to say it–fucking with my head. It’s cycle day 10; yesterday, HCG day, cycle day 9, I discovered eggwhite cervical fluid. WTF? How can this be? I generally do not see EWCF until OVULATION DAY, and surely I couldn’t be ovulating on DAY NINE. My temperature didn’t rise this morning, but I’m thinking of going to bed right now, so that the morning temp time will arrive sooner and I can put my mind at ease. If you’re a fertility obsessor you surely understand the insane logic at work here. If I were simply tracking my fertility signs I would note the oddity and go on with my fabulously full and thrilling life, but as there is a vial of sperm at my doctor’s office as of 4:30 this afternoon awaiting a day 13 or 14 ovulation, I’ve retrogressed into a drooling bundle of nerves whose only discernible talents are Googling early ovulation, studying other women’s charts on Fertility Friend, and binge-eating Thin Mints.
You sane thinkers out there might be considering asking me via a helpful comment, “Have you enlisted the assistance of an OPK? Perhaps that might set the record straight.” Let me save you the time. Of course I have! Three times! And wouldn’t you know, last night’s looks just a little bit darker than today’s two. Have I missed the surge? Can you surge on DAY NINE? Holy. Freaking. Shit.
It’s a dark day here in Gotham City, girls, and I’m sending up the Bat-Signal. Please come to my aid via comments on your own experiences in this area.
*News to me, but apparently not distressing news. My doctor’s exact words: “Your uterus is a variant of normal and will in no way inhibit you from conceiving and carrying a child.” My interpretation: “Just like the rest of you, your uterus is totally freaking weird, but don’t worry, I’m sure your kid will turn out just fine.”