Over at Erstellen Mutterschaft today, Calliope raised a very important question: is THIS the face of women in 2006? THIS, specifically, is the winner of the Miss American pageant, along with her 49 competitors. You’ve seen them before–they’re basically the same every year: glazed eyes, plasticine faces, fake boobs, blank expressions. In response to Calliope’s question, I’ve provided several photos–a photo essay, if you will–depicting just a few qualities of REAL women in the year 2006.
This is MY face, c. 2006. While it might look like I’m getting ready for a tour in Nam, I’m actually trying to cleanse my pores because apparently, being 31 does not excuse me from having zits. It’s really quite unfair, but I can’t afford spa facials or chemical peels or microdermabrasion, so I slather my face with kelp and green clay and hope for the best.
Women of 2006 have really cool tattoos. This was the only picture of maybe 20 that I was willing to share with the public because my feet actually looked fat in all of them. I don’t really have fat feet. In fact, I never complain about my body from the knee down. But I swear to you, my feet looked puffy and swollen. I’m sure it was the angle; it’s very hard to photograph the outside of your foot.
The women of 2006 make excellent soup. This is Phase One of my potato soup. It’s quite good, maybe the best potato soup in all the world.
And finally, women of 2006 are crafty and artistic. They make really cool personalized magnets and give them to friends and family as gifts.
I hope this post has been helpful in clearing up any misconceptions the Miss America pageant might have caused. Now, your turn. What do the women of 2006 look like to YOU?