In my last post I attempted an allusion, but I royally screwed it up. Not once but twice. The word I was actually looking for was SLOUCHING. This is what I was TRYING to allude to: Slouching Towards Bethlehem W.B Yeats Turning and turning in the widening gyre The falcon cannot hear the falconer; Things … More Apparently, normal is further away than I thought
1. Note to self: a DiGiorn0 thin crust pizza comes with a very thin piece of cardboard under it. You should NOT put the pizza in the oven WITH the cardboard under it. Bad things could happen, and you are damn lucky they didn’t. 2. What’s all this hype about Blogger Beta? Do I want … More Stumbling** towards normal* (With minor editing)
Now that I have this in my possession you’ll be hearing more from me. My brain is practically exploding. Make yourselves comfortable. I. In 11 years as a classroom teacher, I have asked the following journal reflection question close to 70 times: “If your house was on fire and you had the chance to go … More Out of the fire, into the frying pan
Yesterday I was on my way to a work function that started at 6 p.m. I had stopped to get a sandwich at the bagel shop in my neighborhood and found myself trying to turn left into late afternoon rush hour traffic, so I backtracked to the other side of parking lot and made a … More It’s even worse than I thought
The night before my mom flew to California she stayed at my house so she could be closer to the airport, and so she could drop off her favorite child dachshund, Goliath, who would be spending the week with his favorite cousin Suzanna while Mom was away. Goliath is one of those perfect dogs: he’s … More The One With the Gnarly Neighbor
I mentioned last week that my middle sister moved to California to attend art school. Last Tuesday my mother flew out to help her get settled. Her flight pattern was Charlotte-Atlanta-Orange County. At least it was supposed to be. She arrived at my house late Monday evening, as I’m about an hour closer to Charlotte … More Tuesday, September 12: The One With the Flying Mother
So it’s September 11, and I’m already miffed at CNN for rebroadcasting all of their footage from 9/11 in real time. To put it mildly, I just don’t think that was necessary. Then I get to work and numerous colleagues are decked out–I mean, DECKED OUT–in red, white and blue. Long faces and sighs and … More Monday, September 11, 2006: The One Where I’m Accused of Treason
School has started. I’m so thrilled. Stomp on your foot, kick you in the crotch, spit on your neck thrilled. You might recall that this is not where I thought I’d be this year. I fully believe the Universe has a script for me, but I have not yet received it, and I’m mad about … More 71 days ’til Christmas vacation
Conversation between David Letterman and Geena Davis, after Dave asked Geena how “Commander in Chief” was going: Geena: It’s a hard job being pretend leader of the free world. It’s a heavy burden.” Letterman: (laughing) “Well, yeah. Just ask George Bush, for God’s sake.”
Dear Harris Teeter Grocery Stores: A few weeks ago you opened a new Harris Teeter store off of a major thoroughfare near my house. I travel this road often, and I saw the “opening soon!” signs hanging from the building, but imagine my surprise when I saw one of those airport spotlight things shining brightly … More Are you licensed to practice stupidity, because you sure are good at it!
one small corner of the universe 