At around 1:30 in the morning last Wednesday, I became semi-consciously aware of something moving in the darkness next to my head. I opened an eye to investigate and could just slightly make out the silhouette of my enormous cat standing at the top of the bed. I know that his back legs were planted on the pillow opposite my head, and that his front legs were planted on the Mission bedside table next to the bed (see diagram below). It gets blurry from there, but here’s what I think happened:
I numbly tried to swat him off the bed and startled him, thus causing him to attempt a total move to the bedside table, a piece of furniture that is sub-stable at best, and whose surface area, even when free of other items, is not large enough to accommodate my giant cat. Incidentally, said surface was not cleared of other objects (see diagram again), but was serving as a home for a metal and glass candelabra of sorts which contained stones instead of candles.
You don’t need a physics lesson to understand what happened next. I couldn’t give you one anyway, but I can provide a brief recap:
The cat is huge.
The table is unstable.
The cat tried to jump on the table.
The candelabra/stone vessel on the table is part glass.
It all happened in a matter of seconds: swat…thud*…and then crash**crash***crash****…and finally, lots of swearing and the sounds of angry vacuuming. The only good thing I have to say about this incident is that my child made one small “eh…sigh” and went soundly back to sleep. Which is the only reason my cat still walks among the living.
*cat on table
**table hitting wall
***candelabra hitting the wall
****glass and stones shattering on the floor