You might have noticed (and if you haven’t, why not? Have you given up on me?) that there isn’t a lot of writing going on here lately. Sure, I’ve posted, but mostly stuff I’ve borrowed (from Jay Leno, for example) or stolen (Hi, Trista!). What’s missing, you ask? That’s right, begging. As in “beg, borrow and steal.” So I’m asking–okay, begging–you for material.
Here’s how this will work: you ask me a question, and I’ll answer it in the form of a post. Actually, this idea was also stolen (Hi, Lorem!), but what the hell. I’ll reserve the right to completely stray from the question’s original topic, and if I’m not comfortable with your question I might ignore it and talk about something else. Please avoid yes/no questions unless, of course, they include a follow-up question of some kind. (What kind of English teacher would I be if I didn’t include that rule?)
If you’re wondering why I’m resorting to this, might I remind you that this is the absolute craziest time of year for anyone in the education field? I am using all of my brain cells–all of them!–to control violent behavior (my own) and avoid encounters with ignorant people (most of my students and half my co-workers). I’m also exerting a great deal of energy on the weather at my school. You read that right: my school has its own weather. It’s either Antarctica or Africa. Not much in-between. Every morning when I pick out my clothes I have to analyze yesterday’s buiding climate, the actual climate outside, the last phone call dispatched to the HVAC guys at the central office to come “fix” the temperature, and the relative building temperature change that may or may not have taken place overnight based on all of the above. Most days I choose badly. Like today, when I wore long sleeves, pants and socks because it was warm over the weekend and I assumed the air at school would be on full blast. Alas, the AIR IS BROKEN so it was 84 degrees in my classroom, and warmer in the library and the office where I spent most of my day.
You see where this is going, don’t you? Unless you want me to talk about weather for the rest of the week, I BEG you, ask me a question or two.
one small corner of the universe 
How’s your house hunt going? If you were any animal other than a primate, which animal would you be and why? What are you doing with yourself this summer? Have you ever had one of those students who make you so glad that you became a teacher? What was your favorite book when you were a tween?
Is that enough? Too many?
If Chapin and Suzanna were to converse (magically) for an entire day, and you could understand them, what would they say? If you had to choose between being blind, being deaf, or being mute, which would you pick, and why? Why haven’t you seen Willy Wonka and the Chocolate factory, young lady?!?
Why do birds suddenly appear every time you are near? Who is your favorite sister? (I know this one, you don’t have to answer this one..)
And last, but CERTAINLY not least, will you write my paper for me? Why or why not?
Hi back (waving wildly)!
1) What’s your favorite color? (This is the one I was surprised no one asked me.)
2) You’ve never taken drugs. Why not? Would you, if you knew that your safety would be guaranteed and/or no one ever told?
3) What book has touched you the deepest in your life?
Hmm, most embarassing moments make good blog fodder, if you have enough perspective.
How about telling us about the time you almost chucked one of your students out the window when they…
Or your perfect moment. What’s your perfect moment? It doesn’t have to have actually happened, it can be your dream of a perfect moment. Who is there? Where are you?
Oh, how about the worst vacation story you can muster. Could be yours, could be someone else’s. Always better if it’s yours though.
That’s all I’ve got right now.
Hang on, it’s almost summertime. We’re going through similar agonies at our place with the final six weeks of HS and final exams at college and final papers due for the other college and you get the picture.
What do you think about the new immigration laws trying to be put into effect? What do you think that will do to your classes as a teacher?
Am I your favorite student ever? Why or why not.
To repeat a question, what ARE you doing this summer? Are you working some where and if yes where? Are you going to hang out with me?
If you could live anywhere where would that be & why?
If you could only eat one thing for breakfast, one thing for lunch & one thing for dinner – for a month- what would that be?
If you could create a fabulous summer music festival where would you have it & who would perform?
You have a dream of yourself in ten years. Describe it.