Today I called my clinic to find out when I would need to order my sperm, what number I would need to call with my OPK surge, etc. The woman with the answers is Peggy, and Peggy and I have talked several times before, but today Peggy was on another line so I got her voicemail. I listened carefully to her rather long message and then waited for the beep. There was no beep. There was a long series of instructions involving pressing this number or that depending on what you wanted to do: “If you’d like to leave a message, press 2. If you’d like to speak to the operator, press 0. If you’d like to audition for American Idol, press 88876897.” And so on. By the time all of the options had been recited, I had forgotten which number to press to leave a message. Two sounded vaguely familiar, so I pressed it, but by now too much time had passed and my call was back in the clinic’s phone system. Two had become an extension, and thank you very much, but I did not want to speak with Janet. So I pressed zero. The same operator answered, and I explained briefly that I had pushed the wrong button and that I still needed to speak with Peggy. Again, I got Peggy’s voicemail, and this time I was ready. I pressed two at the appropriate time and a voice said, “Leave your message after the tone [about time!] and then press pound.” I left my message and all my many questions, and as soon as I had finished speaking I pressed END. DAMN! I had forgotten to press pound! So I called the main number again. Thank God another operator answered. I asked for Peggy. I got her voicemail. I left a message. I pressed pound.
Twenty minutes later Peggy called back. She had gotten, not one, but three messages from me. The first contained no words, only static, but it is a safe assumption that it was my static. Peggy is nice and patient and did not even laugh at my technological idiocy and I am very grateful to have a nurse who is nice and patient, so I’m really glad that first message was just static and NOT what was going through my head at the time. She would have understood, though. She’s the one who called in my Clomid prescription!