I spent over an hour bathing Suzanna in the yard yesterday. We have a do-it-yourself place in town; for 10 bucks you have access to groomer-quality products, a waist-level washbasin with a restraining tether, and unlimited warm water. Oh, and someone else gets to clean the hair, which could feasibly make an entirely new dog, out of the drain. But it was 97 degrees outside, and I decided it would be a) cheaper, b) cooler, and c) more entertaining for the neighbors if I just bathed her in the yard with the hose and my trusty bottle of all natural organic Buddy Wash. One hour, one very wet woman, and one extremely tolerant dog later, Suzanna was the cleanest dog in the neighborhood. Oh, how her black fur glistened in the sun! Oh, how she smelled of lavendar and soap!
Fast-forward to this morning. I let her out to patrol the yard, only to discover after a few minutes that she was…well, description just won’t do it justice. You’ll have to see the footage. And while you’re watching, grinning from ear to ear at how cute my girl is and how happy she looks, just remember that the spot on the grass below her is the site where something died.