Since school isn’t officially over yet, and since I haven’t yet had to slap anyone for making insidious comments about my career and/or salary, I thought I’d post a few things that have made me laugh out loud this week.
1. Since my first insemination didn’t take (for those of you just tuning in, please read the very brief mention of this “project” in yesterday’s post; I’ll address this issue at greater length in the near future), the lead nurse at my fertility clinic gave me some suggestions of things to do in order to get the timing right next time and make sure the sperm are waiting for the egg as she makes her arrival. Upon hearing this information, my friend Kate sent the following reply:
Good advice from the veteran OB-GYN nurses. It’s only right that the sperm should have to wait for the egg. It’s traditional. The sperm is all ready, waiting in the den watching football on TV while the egg is staring into her closet saying, “I don’t have a thing to wear to this shindig.” The sperm calls out from the den, “Honey, just wear your lumen. It’s time to rock ‘n roll!”
2. The school system for which I work has implemented an “Employee of the Month” program. This month’s recipient…well, read for yourself. There will be a prize for the person who can identify the irony in the following news release:
“An advocate for children.” That’s how co-workers describe Lettace Lindsey, a school nutrition assistant who was named Guilford County Schools’ Employee of the Month for June 2005. Lindsey serves lunch to students, most of whom she knows by name, at Alderman Elementary.
3. And finally, I discovered this link on a fellow blogger’s most excellent website. I must warn you–eating and drinking while perusing this site are NOT recommended. Also, pee first. And if you have skittish pets, put them in another room–you may frighten them.
Now I have to go back to work (read: stare sternly at my freshmen English scholars in an effort to make sure they don’t communicate with one another during their state end-of-course tests, thereby rendering the 120 minute testing session “misadministered”).