We need to talk. Actually, scratch that. I don’t mean it. It’s a euphemism, and for me, in this moment, it means I am going to say some stuff. In print. Not out loud. Because I am…not good at that, per se. Let me explain. For as long as I can remember I have been … More #awkward
A little over a month ago I purchased a bathing suit for the first time in years–a real, whole bathing suit, not just a tankini top here and a tankini top there from random department store sales that I would wear with shorts because I refused to let anyone see my ass. This was an actual suit, … More Sometimes being a girl is an adventure, and I’m just not the adventurous type
I began the morning with my usual shower-time meditation about what I expected to accomplish today (read: I talked to myself in the shower a la William Faulkner, rambling and without end or punctuation or even a real point, just talking and talking, to and about myself while the water runs all around, and ideas and tasks and … More If Mary Kay were on CSI…
I was watching the tape that’s been in the video camera since Christmas day, and there’s a scene from my hospital room the day Mia was born that nearly makes me wet myself every time think about it. In the background music is playing–specifically, Joan Baez’s Dark Chords on a Big Guitar. There is a song … More Is it because we are from West Virginia?
Why is it that in every news photo published of her, Condi Rice looks like she’s standing knee-deep in the middle of a giant vat of cow shit? Why is it that every third person asks how you’re doing when you’re pregnant? These people never spoke to me before. Why now? For those of you … More What’s on your mind?
…if Pluto is no longer a planet, what will become of that little mnemonic device we learned in school (hi Joy!) to help us remember the order of the planets? You know–My Very Energetic Mother Just Served Us Nine Pizzas. What now? My Very Energetic Mother Just Served Us…Nothing?
Those of you ahead of me in the motherhood journey will no doubt assure me that sleeping discomfort at almost 17 weeks is nothing compared to the discomfort I will encounter at 37, or even 27 weeks. Fine, whatever, I believe you. But–and I’m NOT complaining, just making an observation–the hours between 11 p.m. and … More To sleep, perchance to dream (about cereal in the closet and giving birth to kittens)
…person who can’t stop singing “It’s Hard Out Here for a Pimp,” the (gulp!) Oscar-winning song from “Hustle and Flow.” I didn’t watch enough of the Oscars to deliver a thorough commentary of last night’s festivities (my 2 cents: Reese Witherspoon is adorable, George Clooney rocks, Jon Stewart cracks me up, and “Crash” really IS … More It’s hard out here for a…
…this is for Trista.
This just in: Pop star Michael Jackson was spotted shopping in a Bahrain mall on Wednesday, hiding his face behind a veil and donning a black robe traditionally worn by women in the Gulf. He also had his kids veiled and robed, and a friend at work told me he was recently discovered in a … More From black to white to…woman?