This is not a post about a vibrator

While it has been quiet around here lately, I’m not really trying to lure readers by throwing around random references to sex toys in the titles of my posts. I swear. I want to talk about my favorite Christmas present [that was not my baby]. And the present in question was NOT a vibrator, contrary to the response my mother got when she asked a co-worker where she could find one. I imagine the conversation went something like this:

“Does anyone know where I can find a Magic Bullet? HD wants one for Christmas.”

<GASP> “What? A Bullet*? You’re getting your daughter a sex toy for Christmas?”

“What? No! A Magic Bullet! The food processor thing from TV!”

That’s right, folks. As Seen On TV. The Magic Bullet. And it is every bit as amazing as that British guy on the commercial says it is, and I get almost that excited when I’m using it. If you have no idea what I’m talking about, you should flip on your TV either really early or really late on a Sunday morning and turn to the TV Guide channel or some other channel that only broadcasts regular programming between the hours of 10 and 10. There, if you’re lucky, you will find a 30-minute infomercial advertising the personal, versatile countertop magician. I suppose it’s a sad commentary on my life, but I have watched the Magic Bullet infomercial numerous times. At first I was skeptical, but it wasn’t long before I was convinced that the recipes those people were making were real and just as easy as they appeared to be on TV. I am happy to report that with the exception of some onions I pureed instead of chopped because I used the product without reading the directions, the results are really that good, and it really is that easy.

There was a time when my lunch at work consisted of gross Lean Cuisine meals, hastily made PB&J sandwiches, microwave popcorn or cold cereal. Now I have homemade chicken salad or shredded barbecue chicken on warm pita bread and a fruit and yogurt smoothie every day. And I owe it all to the Magic Bullet. Every Sunday evening I cook a package of chicken tenders and then put them in the fridge. In the mornings for the rest of the week, depending on what ingredients I have on hand, I throw a few tenders and some other stuff into the small mixing cup, attach the blade, and chop it all up. Lids are included, so I don’t even have to put it in a separate container–I just toss it in my lunch bag, grab a pita or a wheat tortilla, and voila! Lunch! The smoothie is just as easy. The Magic Bullet kit comes with mugs that fit right onto the blade, so I mix my ingredients, screw on a lid, and put it in the freezer in my mini-fridge at work. By lunchtime it’s nice and cold and slightly frozen. It’s like dessert–and way better than peanut butter sandwiches or Corn Pops.

I have always been a huge fan of instant gratification. I like seeing immediate results. That’s why vacuuming is my favorite household chore–you turn on a machine and push it around and your floor looks clean–and why doing laundry is my least favorite. And that’s why I love the Bullet. Er, the Magic Bullet.

What’s YOUR favorite appliance? KITCHEN appliance, that is.

*Because I am work where filters keep Internet searching squeaky clean, I cannot verify for you that the Bullet is actually a sex toy. You will have to take my mother’s co-worker’s word for it.


6 thoughts on “This is not a post about a vibrator

  1. While I think I would LOVE a magic bullet, I already have Cuisinarts of two different sizes, and also….like chopping things up by hand.

    My favorite appliance – Kitchen Aid mixer.
    and to go further:
    Favorite accessory? Tie between pizza stone and silpat liners.

  2. yes, a co-worker of my got a funny look when during an orientation team builder, he exclaimed to a bunch of first year students that his favorite kitchen item was a magic bullet. they were like, “are you sure, kitchen appliance, and why are you telling us?”

    he was mighty embarrassed. and for the record the silver bullet is also a sex toy.

    i love that your mom’s coworker asked her about it!

  3. Oh my lordie, but I want one of these!!!!!

    My favorite appliance. Um. the toaster? The microwave? the fridge? That’s about as fancy as I get.

    No. I love our slow cooker. And I really love our espresso maker.

  4. [Cool staff!||Hi! I think this need for || Help me with – ||Hello….||I find this – || It`s realy cool!]

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