Everything I could possibly think of to say here (celebrate, party, yada yada) has been overshadowed by what just happened to me on the nightly sniff n’ poo walk with Suzanna. I was standing on the edge of the field waiting for her to do what she does, minding my own business, staring at the funky clouds and the oval-shaped moon, and a…
(I’m taking a cue from my girl Ellen again. In case you aren’t obsessed like I am–I tape the show every day–she’s doing cliffhanger monologues. It’s hysterical.)
…Luna Moth landed ON MY ASS!!!
That’s right, it came flitting out of nowhere and landed right on my left butt cheek. On TOP of it. Now I have proof from Mother Nature herself that my ass is as big as I think it is: large flying creatures can perch horizontally atop its looming shelf. Something MUST be done. Stay tuned next week for “As the Ass Shrinks,” coming to you live from the student fitness center at the University of North Carolina at Greensboro.