I cannot deactivate until you say you are satisfied with your care.

I am not qualified to provide commentary about what’s happening in Paris and other parts of the world right now. I am not even qualified to understand what is happening in Paris and other parts of the world. I am not qualified to suggest solutions to global terrorism, or even terrorism of the local variety. I … More I cannot deactivate until you say you are satisfied with your care.

So last weekend I found myself digging through my own trashcan. It was the kitchen one, too, so, wet coffee grounds and slimy clementine peels and discarded food from children (which is more disgusting than discarded food from grown people). I assure you, I had a perfectly good reason. You can probably think of a handful … More

New year, delayed

I’ve spent the last hour reading end-of-2008 reflections on a few of my favorite blogs, and I would love to tell you that these brilliant minds inspired a reflection of my own, but they did not. I’m not sure if it’s the fact that I am at work on New Year’s Eve for the first … More New year, delayed

Slam!

I have three drafts saved. Not one of them is anywhere near completion. It is Thursday, and according to my “writing plan” I should have already posted twice this week. But at 4:24, with minutes left at this desk sans child to care for, this is all I’ve got: nothing. Not a damn thing. Tomorrow … More Slam!

This post brought to you by the letters W, T, and F

So I have this giant bald place, and it was completely and totally a result of the resort emergency alarm, which apparently was “falsely activated.” Do you know what that means, people? Do you? It means that some punk kid (or obnoxiously immature adult, which I’ll get to another time) pulled the fire alarm lever and ran … More This post brought to you by the letters W, T, and F

Please and thank you

Did you ever see that episode of “Friends” where the guys go on a police ride-along with Phoebe’s boyfriend du jour, and Ross gets all “I have a new lease on life” because he thinks someone took a shot at him? And Joey threw himself onto Ross to “shield him from the bullet”? But it was … More Please and thank you