The Weather Channel warned this morning that a front was “blowing in” and that there might be occasional gusty wind in my area. Occasional my ass! The “gusts” are constant, cold blasts of gale force winds that no hairspray or styling gel can combat, so that 20 minutes I spent trying to disguise the fact that I should have gotten a trim two weeks ago was for naught! They still won’t let me park my car next to my classroom and crawl in through the window, AND I have an outside duty before the first bell rings, so I’m sporting the rock star look today. And not the cool, sleek rock star look of, say, Madonna, or even Melissa Etheridge with her gorgeous newly grown spikes. It’s more a shorter Keith Richards/Mick Jagger/eighties metal thing, and I’ll tell you, it’s not good.
But it doesn’t stop there. The humidity in my building is 98%. I guess I should be thankful, as I can already feel my Mick Jagger hair falling under the weight of the moisture. I just hope it doesn’t collapse into some sort of Donald Trump comb-over formation. But there are bigger problems than my hair at hand. The air is heavy and warm, and the faint smell of mildew in the halls will soon be mixed with the odor of sweaty adolescent boys and the overwhelming scent of the awful cologne they will pour on themselves in an attempt to get rid of the other smells. Come to think of it, it’s not really a good day for noses, either.